Chapter 12: Mindorff Family Ties

This week is introducing my family members and the adventurous lives they lead. It comes at a rather appropriate time as we celebrate the lives of Tyler's Grandfather and my Grandmother as they both recently passed away at the well-lived ages of 91 and 94, respectively. I am going to begin by writing about my side of the family as it is going to take a decent amount of screen time to give them justice.

I am the second youngest of seven children. I have five sisters and one brother. In order, our names are Eusebia, Chesed, Jacob, Petra, Hadassah, Tikvah (me!) and Aviva. As you fumble over our names, I can imagine the questions already forming. What is that? Where is it from? Where are you from? Why are you named that? Does it mean anything?

In Florida on a family vacation to visit Oma and Opa

The short answer is that all of our names are biblical, most of them are Hebrew but some of them are Greek. Some, like Petra and Jacob, are biblical but are also traditional family names and honor my Oma and Opa. My mother had meaningful spiritual reasons why she chose each name for us. I could probably recall each story if I really put my mind to it, but I know mine meant Hope and she chose it to represent the hope she felt that things would improve for our family and extended family as we went through a particularly difficult period around the time that I was born. 

Mom knew how to get the right shot.

My parents were both raised Catholic in Southern Ontario, my dad to a family of 11 children and my mom to a family of 5. My Dad's father was Danish/Icelandic and my Dad's mother was Irish/English. My Mom's parents immigrated from Holland after World War II. Thanks to some particularly investigative family genealogists I can trace my family back to the early 18th century, which is pretty cool.

My parents technically met in high school, but they really bonded when my Dad moved out to work on the Oil Rigs in Alberta in the 1970s. My mom quit high school for a spell to go out and work in Alberta when she was 16 (I guess that's what you did in the '70s?). They met again in Alberta and got to know one another more and my Dad followed her back to Ontario so she could finish high school and proposed to her after her grade 12 prom at the Botanical Gardens in Niagara Falls. 

As an engaged couple, my Dad went to work and my Mom started university at McMaster, where she met a school friend who converted her to Christadelphianism, a small, fundamentalist Christian sect. My parents learned about this religion together and decided it was for them and never looked back.

Mom and Dad on their wedding day. Nice stash pops.

The early years of their marriage were defined by their change in religion as both my grandparents were Catholic and it was a major coup d'état to change. My parents ended up moving up to the Kitchener/Waterloo area and lived on a rented Mennonite homestead. My mom had many funny stories for us as children living off the grid with a big old wood stove and her not really knowing how to cook or use the old-fashioned equipment. I think it was a grand adventure for them and they always spoke of it pretty fondly. They both worked at Full Circle Natural Foods (which is still around!) and they could borrow cookbooks like the Enchanted Broccoli Forest and The Moosewood Cookbook and learn all about alternative diets and vegetarian eating. 

My parents came from different backgrounds and this meant that they came to the marriage with different skills. My mom unabashedly admits she was a terrible cook the first few years of their marriage and made Chicken Liver Aloha waaaaaaaaay too many times. I don't know if he was always this way, but my Dad is quite the chef and taught me a lot about cooking from a young age. But, by the time I came around, they were both fully into making healthy, whole foods from legumes, nuts, grains, and more. My mom's brother Larry also had a hobby farm with chickens, Clydesdale horses, and goats. With seven growing kids, we ended up drinking a LOT of goat milk, not something I remember fondly BUT, when doused with enough chocolate syrup, it was alright.

My mom with her baby goat on the homestead

Living like the Mennonites

I was raised in Southern Ontario, in the Niagara Region on the heart of the escarpment, surrounded by beautiful hiking trails, waterfalls, cliffs, and wineries. We moved often when I was young, my father worked in construction and flipped houses before it was cool. Actually, pretty much everything my parents did they did before it was cool...or at least as my mum likes to say! The older I get the more I think my mom may have been Hipster Patient 0.

Mom and Dad (on left) with friends circa 1979 

For most of my childhood, we had a nanny who lived with us named Charlene. My grandparents co-founded a refugee shelter in Fort Erie to help newcomers settle in Canada called Casa El Norte and Charlene was connected with our family through that network from the Philippines. Charlene lived with us for about 12 years, from just before Aviva was born until she finally left to work as a Chef at the Hilton in Niagara Falls. Charlene was somewhere between an older sister and a second mother to us, she was normally there to tell us to stop being annoying or get us to do our chores. Aviva and I used to love to pester her because she was always so stern but you knew she was a big softie inside. I recently told Tyler about the time where I had to do hundreds of lines of "I will not go into Charlene's room" because the poor woman needed some privacy and we just would. not. listen.

Brave Charlene in the backseat with us hooligans

There were a few years between 1995-1998 when my parents worked with the Federal government through international grant programs to build low-income steel-framed housing in the Philippines. This work meant that my Dad traveled abroad for three months at a time while my mom returned to university to finish her university degree.

My mom received her university diploma as a mature student with 7 kids.

It seemed for a time that we might move to the Philippines which seemed very exciting to us but my Dad returned at this point and began working as a project manager for a private renewable energy project instead.

I remember during this time we hiked often and everywhere around Niagara.  We lived very close to the Bruce Trail and could access many different trails right from our house. We would also go hiking out in the Willoughby Marsh in Wainfleet or run up and down the sand dunes at Nickle Beach in Port Colborne. We would often go down with hot dogs, hot chocolate in thermoses, and have a big bonfire at the trail end.

Trying to talk on the phone to Dad while he was in the Philippines

The home that I consider to be our childhood home was a 19th-century farmhouse nestled on a corner lot across from an idyllic community church with woods, a hedge, and a cornfield on all sides. True to Mindorff tradition, we had an amazing yard with complex gardens, mature trees, large vegetable patches, and later on, a fish pond with a waterfall and gazebo. My parents loved to garden, my Dad inherited it from my grandparents who were very active gardeners and members of the local horticultural society. My mom is 100% purebred Dutch and I am convinced that every Dutch person has gardening as part of their DNA. Together (and with the free labor power of seven children) we were able to create some pretty amazing gardens.

My sister Petra playing on the stilts my Dad and Uncle made for us in our beautiful backyard.

Every Saturday like clockwork, Dad would be up and making a huge breakfast of potato pancakes, bacon, fried eggs, orange juice, coffee, and tea. He would normally blare the likes of Neil Young, The Cranberries, Gordon Lightfoot, or Supertramp to get us slugabeds up and at 'em. As we came downstairs he would be pulling grumpy teenagers into dances in the kitchen as he sang along loudly. 

Were you really part of the '80s if you didn't Fondu? Ps...I still have this set.

There were pretty strict requirements for us when it came to helping at home as all kids had to be home on Saturdays to help with household chores which were primarily outdoor home, garden, and maintenance projects. All of our organized activities were done together, as a family, helping to keep the household running smoothly. Both my parents worked full-time so everything was left to the weekend. After breakfast, Dad would sit with his coffee and a pen and paper and draw up a chore chart for each person that you had to complete before you could do something else. 

Yardwork collage- mom at her potting shed (top left), Dad, Eusebia, and Jacob building the fish pond (top right), replacing the bay window (bottom left), Chesed and I put out the lawn furniture in the spring (bottom right)

If your friends weren't wise enough to know better, any random visiting children were put to work with the rest of us, no choice allowed.  This was usually pretty entertaining for us as most friends either jumped on board and loved being part of the mayhem or just conveniently invited US over to THEIR house in the future. It brought a new perspective to many kids when they realized that we worked a lot harder than they did on their weekly 'chores' and this was an expectation of being part of our family rather than receiving an allowance. Allowance...What's that?!

Emptying, dismantling, and cleaning out our fridge was just one of the many weekend chores we learned to do. Nobody cleans like the Dutch!

Hedge trimming at 14 years old

Over the years we did a LOT of work on that house. Projects I personally remember helping my Dad with before I was 15 years old include building a garden shed, mixing and forming the decorative concrete patio under the gazebo, building three different wooden decks, pulling up and relaying a brick walkway, and subsequence stone patio, installing a dishwasher, replumbing the kitchen, replacing the toilets, painting and repainting the entire house, re-shingling the roof with my sisters, drywalling, soldering copper pipes when they leaked, installing a woodstove, installing wood flooring, sanding and refinishing wood flooring, replumbing the powder room, installing new kitchen cabinets, scraping off wallpaper, repainting, painting, painting, and painting, and more painting.

So when people ask me how I know how to do so many things, these memories are what flood into my memory in response. My dad always had one of us kids working as his gopher for his jobs, getting tools or holding the flashlight or helping him carry something. If you were visible, you were at risk of getting called in to help.

It is actually amazing to think back on those memories and how much I hated it because all I wanted to do is listen to music and read books in peace, but as an adult, I am so grateful that I have not only witnessed HOW to do so many projects, but I have the right attitude that no project is insurmountable. Also, I have a lot of respect for my dad for the many years he constantly maintained that house with so much damage from heavy use. I am sure he did complain, but I don't really ever remember him actually complaining about anything. He must have been in a perpetual state of exhaustion and he never really demonstrated it. On that note, Dad also went back to university as an adult and received a degree from the University of Waterloo in Meteorology.

Dad, receiving his degree at his graduation ceremony also with 7 kids.

Sundays were reserved for Church and our traditional family pot roast dinner was served right after Church so the rest of the day could be enjoyed in peace. This was the pattern of every weekend of my life up until I was 15 and we moved to Alberta. 

The Mindorff Family at Church...those matching dresses! I can still feel the polyester on my neck.

In 2006 my mom was in a car accident that gave her a brain injury. At the time she was completing her Ph.D. in Adult Education and working full time at Brock University as a Research Officer. This was undoubtedly devastating for her as it came at a time when her career was taking off, many of my siblings had moved out and my parents were reaching a period of financial freedom not previously experienced. At the time, my Dad was working in Alberta as a Renewable Energy Developer creating large wind projects in the west. He was constantly traveling and this was not conducive to my mother's recent health change so they made the decision to move out to Alberta and take Aviva and me with them.

Ranch Life Begins. Aviva and I on what would be our future driveway circa 2006

I lived in Alberta for a few years with my parents while completing high school in Brooks. Between my mom's health needs and the move out west, I don't think I really registered what a huge culture shock it was to move from Ontario to Alberta. I moved back to Ontario right when I turned 18 partly because I missed Ontario and partly because I became atheist and that was not compatible with living at home anymore. Life from 18-30 will have to be covered another time since that's a whole other story.

Where Are They Now?

My parents still live in Alberta, though they have now purchased a housing development in Rosemary, Alberta where they live called RoseGlen Rural Estates. My mom is on long-term disability and, I suppose, is pseudo-retired. She is busy helping babysit grandkids and cooking meals for the neighbors, making art in her studio, or gardening when she feels well enough. Dad still works full-time in the renewable energy sector and is still either constantly helping his kids with their home renovation projects or pulling them into his :P

Tiny house living at its finest!

They bring the same spirit of community and love of landscaping to Rose Glen including installing a community garden, (successfully) petitioning the town to allow urban chickens, gaining development permits for Tiny Houses, and more. I wouldn't say they are super-glued into whatever trends are hitting social media, but somehow they are hitting the mark at every turn. 

Mom and Dad circa 2006

Chesed, her husband Peter, and their four kids live nearby in this community with my parents and are often around helping my parents while my parents help with childcare. In addition to being a full-time mother of four, Chesed works at the local butcher shop, helping them out and learning about the butchering process in the meantime. Chesed and Peter are actively interested in homesteading and have previously rented a plot of land when they lived back in Saskatchewan from a neighboring farmer and intensively farmed for a summer. Witnessing her progress through that experience was pretty amazing and she is a constant source of knowledge and encouragement when it comes to living off-grid.

 

Ches, her husband Peter, and their crew.

Eusebia also lives nearby, though in a town slightly further away called Duchess. Eusebia recently opened a new cafe/bakery/artist shop/refillery in Duchess called the Salty Mare Mercantile and has been hustling hard at making it a success for the past few months. Eusebia is also a mother to four children who are often seen in and around the shop.

Eusebia with her saucy horse.

Charlene gained citizenship while living with us and trained at college to be a chef and is now a very accomplished chef in Niagara Falls. She has also helped many of her family members, including her husband, immigrate to Canada. They continue to live in Niagara Falls with their son.

Charlene, front center, with most of the kids sans me (in Nova Scotia) and Jacob (in Alberta) at Grandma Mindorff's funeral

My only brother Jacob also lives in Alberta, though up near Red Deer with his wife Keona and their daughter. He works as a Power Engineer in a large production facility. Jacob's interest leans more heavily on outdoorsmanship, financial independence, and mechanics and I talk with him frequently about fishing, investing, and learning about vehicles.  

Jake with his catch of the day

Petra stayed in Ontario and recently went back to school and graduated as an RPN. She just began working full-time before giving birth to their second child. Petra's husband Eric is also in health care as a Paramedic but his real passion is music. Eric is a very talented musician and he has recently opened a recording studio that they built in their renovated garage called the Hodge Podge Garage Music Studio. Petra is an avid gardener, following more in the footsteps of my grandmother as a trained nurse and lover of children. She has a beautiful property with extensive gardens and a prolific vegetable patch right on the river. 

Petra, pregnant with baby Alice, her husband Eric and 3-year-old Gus.

Hadassah, her husband Tim, and their three children live in the Okanagan Valley in British Columbia and have a sweet homestead of 12 acres nestled on the side of a mountain. Also pretty apart from online trends, they live in what could only be described as a tiny house. Hadassah homeschools her children and does such an amazing job of building her curriculum that the government of British Columbia asked her to be a teacher for them. My nephew has been raising pigs for the last few years and is continually impressing us with his ability to buy pigs, track expenses, keep up with chores and be strong when it comes time to sell them. 

Hadassah's adorable mountain homestead in B.C.

Aviva lives near Hadassah in British Columbia with her husband and four children. She is the preserving guru of the family. Aviva bakes all their bread and buys farm-fresh produce for preserving. She also homeschools her children, even pre-Covid! I think eventually Aviva would like to be able to buy a small farm but they are comfortable in their home and the housing crisis right now makes it very unappealing to make any changes when you have four kids under 10. 

(Hadassah and Aviva don't live much on the internet so I have chosen not to include any photos of them for privacy purposes)

We have a very active Whatsapp Chat group for my parents and siblings. We may be very different in some ways, but we are able to come together over our shared love of gardening, farming, and the enjoyment of the outdoors. They have all been astoundingly supportive of Tyler and me and our adventure out east. Having moral support when you are doing something like this helps keep your spirits high and feel proud of what you are doing. 

As I write this post I am pulling up stories, memories, and stories that I haven't recalled in such a long time. I think the example that my parents set for us is quite phenomenal in many ways as they faced a lot of difficulty doing things out of traditional order- something people warned them would be difficult, they had to learn for themselves. They might be stubborn in that way, as am I, but their ability to learn it the hard way and still make a success of their life is admirable. I am very grateful to have inherited an adventurous heart, a love of gardening and the outdoors from them, and look forward to when they can come to visit Duskwood as we grow.

Thanks for reading 2 Kids Off-Grid! Next week I'll be writing about Tyler's parents, their butcher shop and their upcoming van life adventure to Yukon, California, and everything in between. Subscribe to get new chapters weekly by signing up for our newsletter below.